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JOHN THE THIRD AND HIS PEANUT BUTTER PARADISE

John the Third loves peanut butter. In fact, he likes it a little too much. John the Third spends over $40,000 a month to get his fix of peanut butter. His annual fee for his purchases of peanut butter totals over $440,000. His APR is 10%, because his credit card company charges an extra $40,000 a year in addition to the $400,000 he spends on actually buying his beloved peanut butter. And his interest never changes, because John the Third has a fixed rate. John the Third is very good at always making his payments, and he has never been charged a late fee. However, if he was late, he would be held responsible. There is no such thing as zero liability when using a credit card!

 In addition, for using his credit card, John the Third is offered a very beneficial rewards program. His credit card company offers him a trip to Peanut Butter Island for every $400,000 he spends. And since John the Third already spends $400,000 each year, he gets to go to Peanut Butter Island annually!

Now, John the Third wants to make a little extra cash on the side. He applied for a job at Skippy’s Peanut Butter Company. The company offers him an introductory period rate of pay. After all, Skippy’s isn’t going to dish out the big bucks for a new worker like John, right? In time, though, and with a little hard work, John the Third will eventually become CEO of Skippy’s Peanut Butter Company!

Now John the Third wants a house, made entirely of peanut butter! However, he does not have the sufficient funds to build a house made of peanut butter! So he goes out and gets a loan. He is charged an introductory rate during the initial stages of the loan. He also received a line of credit by his faithful bank, Peanut Butter Bank. He eventually built an entire house made of 100% creamy peanut butter! Although John the Third will have to deal with finance charges in the near future, for right now he is happy.

When John the Third is ever low on cash to buy his peanut butter, he simply goes to an ATM and gets a balance transfer. This is really helpful for John because it allows him to get real cash easy and quick. Now John will never be without his precious peanut butter!